In Life, Sex

Sex And The City, Steaming In New York

Am I too old to be having sex everyday?

When my older sister announced she was celebrating her 60th birthday party in America, the first thing that came to mind was, “how am I going to persuade David to come along?”. Firstly, my husband doesn’t travel abroad for other peoples birthday parties. Secondly, if he was even going to consider it, it would be a destination he had on his list. Having been to NYC a few times, it wasn’t on his current list. 

There are many reasons why David isn’t a fan of attending birthday getaways. One is how, according to him, Nigerian women seem to group together and their men are left to their own devices. As far as he’s concerned Nigerian men have 2 favourite topics, Nigerian politics and money, topics he’s not particularly interested in discussing every single time he gets together with other Naija men. Being stuck with a group of such men on a 5 day trip would be a nightmarish situation for him. 

My dilemma was how to assure him that he’d have a great time. How could I make this NYC trip so attractive that David would agree to come. I put together an offer and presented it to him.

  1. I wouldn’t leave him to hangout with the guys.
  2. I’d plan a great itinerary for us to do the things he likes together and pay for it.
  3. Hot steaming sex every single day.

He agreed to come along and booked our flights in February.

Potential obstacles that can make sex everyday a challenge

We are now in October and I’m reviewing the terms of my offer….yikes! With the itinerary I’ve got planned, we’re either going to have a happy break or argue because promises weren’t kept.

Firstly, I plan to fit a Great Ife University reunion somewhere in the week. I also plan to get in touch with my 1977 St Joseph’s NYC primary school classmate and see if we can hook up for coffee. Girls only meetings.

Secondly, steaming hot sex everyday with the kind of itinerary I’ve planned?? It’s going to take some mammoth effort on my part because I also plan to do a lot of walking in the city. Will it be possible to have sex after 30,000 steps and late dinner?  I already have visions of myself passing out on the bed as soon as we get back to our hotel. David on the other hand, has NEVER been too tired for sex. To stick to our deal, I clearly have to avoid trying to have sex at certain times of the day. 

Nevertheless, I’ve surprised myself with the middle part of my offer. I don’t recall ever paying for anything whilst on holiday with David, this will be a first.  

The many benefits of regular older age sex. 

I often write about sex. Once upon a time, I’d wouldn’t have the boldness to talk about it. Now at 53yrs, I can talk about it freely. I’m not as self conscious as I was in my younger years. I also realise that sexual nonfulfillment is the cause of many unhappy and distressed marriages.  I’m an advocate of revving sex up at midlife instead of pressing the breaks . 

As with anything, you get good at it the more you do it. So, to enjoy great sex, you have to engage it as often as you can with your partner/spouse. The more sex you have the better your sexual function. If you’re not having regular sex, your sexual function will be negatively impacted. This could lead to problems if a couple are on different pages.

According to John Hopkins Medicine, “Instead of causing harm, sex may benefit your heart health. Studies suggest that men who have sex at least twice a week and women who report having satisfying sex lives are less likely to have a heart attack”.

This article from OHSU ( Oregon Health & Science University),

“Studies have shown that sex is extremely beneficial to our health. Sex activates a variety of neurotransmitters that impact not only our brains but several other organs in our bodies.”

The article lists these benefits for women:

  • Lower blood pressure.
  • Better immune system.
  • Better heart health, possibly including lower risk for heart disease.
  • Improved self-esteem.
  • Decreased depression and anxiety.
  • Increased libido.
  • Immediate, natural pain relief.
  • Better sleep.
  • Increased intimacy and closeness to a sexual partner.
  • Overall stress reduction, both physiologically and emotional.

At 53yrs, is having sex everyday even possible? 

As a health coach who constantly looks for sustainable natural ways to stay healthy, I shall be landing in NYC with my living sex toy because I want to stay healthy. I call David my sex toy because that’s what he is, and he loves it. Hahahaha! I first heard the phrase “Sexual Economics” from him. I pondered a bit about it and realised that it makes sense because it’s puts both parties in a win win situation. 

Read: Sexual Economic Theory – Investing In Peace And Harmony

Thanks to David’s curious, analytical problem solving nature, peri – menopausal sex is great at the moment. He’s done his homework. In my blog titled “Sex should naturally be more frequent in your older years”, I write about how we should be having more and not less sex because our children are grown up and independent. This can be the time when couples discover they have nothing to say to each other because they’ve grown apart. Breaks like this NYC is a perfect opportunity to bring back the spark and not worry about anyone in the hotel room next to yours hearing you on action. 

Look out for part 2 of this blog at the end of October. Discover if I kept my promise of hot steaming sex everyday in NYC.



Sex is that thing if you experienced it and orgasmed, you’ll always want to recreate that feeling. It’s like taking drugs for the first time, you want that high. The anticipation… the before, during and after. It your sexual level is high, you’ll always want the whole package, not half or quarter and no quickies. It’s like when you go to a restaurant serving several courses, you should take time to enjoy, and savour the taste of each course. You shouldn’t wolf all the food down in 5mins.” – David Pitan, Techie by day Sex Therapist by night.😜


  • Coach Kaaaaaayyyyyyyyy 👍

  • ivana akaraiwe
    October 14, 2022 6:35 am

    Great article to start the day with. Daily sex is almost impossible for me o coachie. But we are revving sex life up as no fear at 53+.

  • 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 a nice piece…waiting for part 2 😉

  • Glenda Omogbai
    October 14, 2022 10:48 pm

    Well done CK. Agree totally with the bit about not worrying about the people in the next hotel room…..waiting eagerly for part two 🙌🏽😀🔥.

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