In Shopping, Style

Why You Should Update Your Underwear At Midlife

If you read my blog regularly, then you must know that I’m an advocate of being smart, sassy and sexy at midlife and, this is why you MUST update your underwear at midlife. All glammed up on the outside and not so great underneath is a no no for the 21st Century 50+ year old.In my late teens, during a visit to a female relation who had just returned with her young family from abroad, I asked to use the bathroom. My relation was very fashionable. Growing up, I’d always admired her style. That day, standing in her bathroom, I looked around and noticed a bunch of tattered looking panties that were once white hanging on the rail. Is this what she wore under her fancy clothes? O my gosh! After that day, every time I saw her, I thought of the panties I saw hanging in her bathroom.

The fact is, some women don’t bother too much about their undergarments because underwear is out of sight. What I saw that day initially influenced my underwear style choices when I arrived in the UK in the early nineties.My husband told me that when we first started dating, he imagined what my underwear would like and when he saw me in my underwear, was shocked to see bright coloured cotton knickers. He had visualised white lacy panties. Hahahaha!!!!!

This is something we’ve joked about over and over again since that day. He says they were 5 for £1 panties and I correct him – they were 5 for £5 garter panties from BHS.  Back in the day, I loved the bright colours because they didn’t turn into the dirty looking colour I saw hanging in my cousins bathroom some 10 or so yrs ago. I eventually graduated from BHS 5 for £5 garter panties, to slightly more expensive M&S 5 a pack garters. From there I moved to white Sloggies similar the panties in the Skims range – wide band and high legs. David liked the Sloggies – they were white. 

Intimissimi Bologna 2018 range.

The move from white 

One day, on one of my frequent trips to Milan in the early 2000’s, I popped into the Intimissimi store and bought a pair of tiny barely there green flower print thongs. When I tried them on, they were surprisingly very comfortable. Thongs had exploded into fashion around that time and they were flying off the racks. Eliminating visible panty lines was their selling point. The interesting thing is, many of us didn’t think about vpl before thongs came into fashion. The Intimissimi thongs were a winner, David loved them. White wasn’t a big deal anymore.

I ended up amassing a collection of thongs, some were comfy and some felt like they were going to split my butt in half – uncomfortable! I endured them because the thought of my panty lines showing underneath my clothes suddenly seemed horrifying. However, as we all know, cheek exposing panties didn’t stay in fashion permanently. Boy short panties came into vogue and many of us made a quick switch. Boy shorts eliminated vpl if you bought the right type and didn’t have a big African ass. Even though I started buying more short like panties, my Intimissimi flower thongs stayed and I kept wearing them because they were comfy and David loved them. 

Today, we often go shopping for my underwear together. He points to the ones he likes, encourages me to be more adventurous with colours and designs. I end up buying half of his choices and half of mine because there is a benefit to wearing those butt splitting panties – they remain in his memory which makes me his pin up


“If you aren’t up for it, just wear your pata mummy.”

“Pata Mummy (Mummy panties)” are what my husband calls big panties. I remember when I happened to mention to my older sister who lives in the States, that David calls my high waist panties “mummy panties”. She laughed so hard she almost fell off her chair. Yep, we all wear mummy panties. They are very comfy and offer great support, it’s just that they aren’t sexy looking to men. Men love to see sexy and “mummy panties” though comfy, aren’t sexy.

My teenage daughter recently asked me why I wear lacy panties. The knickers that prompted her question were a black pair of lace Calvin Klein thongs hanging in the bathroom. She asked why I didn’t wear plain cotton panties. “Your dad likes lacy underwear” I said.  “Eeuww!” she replied. 

Some might take exception to having their man choose their underwear. Do what works best for you. I particularly like my husband helping me regularly update my underwear at midlife. I like going underwear shopping with him, he gives me his full attention and pays for whatever we choose together.

Lastly, please don’t say big knickers are more practical or that you’re too old for sexy frisky lingerie. If we’re into stylish clothes, heels, lashes, nails, microbladed brows, wigs/hair extensions, make up etc, then our undergarments must be on point! Underwear at midlife can be sexy. Sexy lingerie speaks power, style and confidence! 





That saying, if a man is desperate for sex, it won’t matter what you wear, easing sexual tension is what will be uppermost in his mind. However, men love it when their partners wear nice lingerie. It grabs their attention.

My Mum’s Girdle Built My 6 Pack


  • Me I love my victoria secret panties 7 for 27 bucks on sale I get them twice a year faithfully and sometimes I make an xtra trip just before we go on vacation . I get to pick different styles and colors.Love the lacy panties the best , followed by my lacy thongs. My cotton Calvin Klein panties are comfy too but my husband calls them old woman pants. Stopped wearing them to bed at night thou !

    • kehindepitan
      May 26, 2020 4:50 pm

      You are definitely a 21st Century midlifer! 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

  • ShirleyKach
    May 25, 2020 4:32 pm

    Love your style of writing. My Mazi always says thongs were not meant for people like me. Glad he does not care either way because never found one that I was not constantly pulling on.😅I took to wearing his tiddy whities my preference for men and when he graduated to boxers which I hated because they were not white those too. I eventually amassed my own collection and recently when I walked into a high end boutique to buy an evening gown and undressed they collapsed in laughter at my men’s underwear. Joined in the laughs and told them to try it and thank me later to which they all responded “No thank you”🤷‍♀️😏

    • kehindepitan
      May 26, 2020 4:53 pm

      Many thanks! 😘
      I laughed really hard reading this. From now on, when I see your pictures, I’m going to be visualising them briefs. 😜

  • “didn’t have a big African ass.”. Seriously!. I can’t believe people wear those restrictive things.😌😌

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